What the heck do babies dream about? Lazarus makes the most dramatic faces as he's dropping off into sleep - even in his first days of life he cycled through facial expressions, from smiles to grimaces to sad little frowns. Now, he'll sometimes make his crying face and even whimper - what the heck could he be dreaming about? Here's my gander:
-Baby Lazarus to Psychoanalyst: Mom popped the bottle in my mouth - and it was EMPTY!
-Psychoanalyst to Baby Lazarus: And how did that make you feel?
...
And sometimes he smiles and almost giggles in his sleep -- is he dreaming of ducks, like his mama does?

A fish story: as I was feeding the frogs this morning, I noticed that one of the tinfoil barbs in the tank was missing. Head count -- Frogs: check, check, check, check. Plecostemus: check. Tinfoil barbs: check, check... #3 was nowhere to be found. Not even a carcass; nary fin nor fishy eyeball plastered to the filter intake. Could one of my beloved goofy frogs have eaten it? The frogs were delighted at the feeder fish and ghost shrimp Antonio put in there a while back, but we put the barbs in as companions, not snacks, and figured they were big enough to evade their amphibian tankmates. I guess Xenopus laevis (a.k.a. African clawed frog, a.k.a. Spike, Sparky, Lucky, and Cartman) are more aggressive (and have even bigger mouths) than I thought... so what to do with the remaining two barbs? It's not like we don't have another tank to put them in -- maybe I'll put the barbs in Antonio's big tank and put the big mean ol' Goby in with the frogs. He's taken out whole schools of tetras - he'll give those frogs something to think about if they go after him.

Okay, so back here in grownup-land - yeah, I've been spending way too much time here at home. Laz and I spent a lovely afternoon in Seal Beach with auntie Sandy, who gets big smiles from Laz every time we see her. My back is still hurting a lot, but I was more mobile today, and the cool ocean air was a great relief from the heat. To celebrate being sprung (temporarily, at least) from house arrest, I scarfed on onion rings, a green chile (Garden) burger, and a chocolate shake. Laz smiled a lot and charmed many, and was a wonderful companion - what a great little guy. No, no pictures today - I'll get some tomorrow.

Antonio's update from the road: made it to Denver last night; stayed up till 4 a.m. talking with cousins; it's dreadfully hot there....

Grandma (Laz's, that is) comes to town tomorrow night! Yay!!!

My back has gone out before, but trying to take care of a nearly-14-pound baby when I'm in this kind of pain really sucks. This is the second time it has gone out since I had Lazarus, in fact - yet it didn't go out once during my pregnancy. (Maybe the Physical Distress Committee judged that throwing up every day for nearly nine months filled my distress quota for the time being...)

So I'm working on some adaptations, having decided that leaving him in one place all day doesn't jibe well with good mama practices. Since the only chair I can stand to sit in at the moment is my desk chair (not too hard, not too soft), I am feeding Laz in the sling, with his head reclining on a pillow propped up on the edge of my desk. When he's done eating, I just let him hang out instead of hoisting him to put him wherever - he seems pleased with the arrangement. And I can eat my lunch, too (one hand on his bottle, one on my fork) - we're even using the same cloth dipe as a bib (... I need it more than he does...) I even have his binky on a leash so that when he hooks his thumb in the handle and flings it away, it doesn't land on the floor where I absolutely can't get it (unless I use my toes, which I admit I did the last time my back went out. I rinsed it off in my coffee, then gave it a good lick to make sure it was clean). :-b

I'm also working on my Web site, annelear.com - so far, I've parked the domain name (which I registered over two years ago) and downloaded and (mostly) configured the ftp program I'll use to upload the site to my ISP's server. Now to build the site... guess I don't have anything better to do, sitting here at my desk, gazing wistfully out the window and wishing I could garden... -Oh, I do have something I gotta do later: make zucchini bread! Lots and lots and lots of zucchini bread. Zucchini-nut bread. Pineapple-zucchini bread. Zucchini muffins. Maybe I'll even try zucchini brownies. I'll let you know how they turn out...

I never wanted to do this job in the first place! I... I wanted to be... A LUMBERJACK! Leaping from tree to tree! As they float down the mighty rivers of British Columbia! With my best girl by my side! The Larch! The Pine! The Giant Redwood tree! The Sequoia! The Little Whopping Rule Tree! We'd sing! Sing! Sing!

Oh, I'm a lumberjack, and I'm okay,
I sleep all night and I work all day.
CHORUS: He's a lumberjack, and he's okay,
He sleeps all night and he works all day...
--from Monty Python's Flying Circus (of course)

Antonio called this morning to report that he and Johnnie made it to Grand Junction last night, where they're staying with Aunt Barbara and Uncle Ramos. Word is, Johnnie wanted to sleep in a real bed last night so they drove on up from Silverton instead of camping. Yeah, camping is fun, but after a few days, enough is enough - every few days a girl's gotta have a shower and a place to plug in her hair dryer.... Sounds like they're having a good trip so far - Antonio said he's aiming to be in Denver on Tuesday or Wednesday.

So that's the farming report - off to slop the fish and muck out the frog tank...

I've been meaning to post for a few days now, but taking care of Lazarus on my own is pretty all-consuming. I'm getting a taste now of single-motherhood: Antonio and Johnnie left for their big road trip at 3 a.m. Thursday and made it to Flagstaff by around noon. They camped out and took off for Durango Friday morning... I think... Antonio called once on Thursday and once on Friday; the latter conversation consisted of a few moments of jagged "are you there" exchanges before I lost him, and I haven't been able to reach him since. So much for wireless everywhere - I guess Cingular doesn't have that cross-country network completely set up yet. Now, dear hubby could surely have made it to a pay phone to check in - but I won't go there until I'm really good and mad. And the truth is, I'm enjoying the time to myself with no one to boss me around. So there, Mr. I'm On the Road and Damn if I'm Gonna Answer to Some Woman. In all my spare time, I do also have to feed and otherwise take care of all the fish and other critters - we now have five tanks going, including those for fish, turtle, and frogs. Between them, the cat, all my dang plants, and baby Laz, I'm starting to feel like a farmer.

Any-hoo, Laz and I have had a couple of nice days together - it's exhausting to do everything, but he sleeps well at night and takes good naps during the day, which gives me time to unwind, or wash bottles and pick up baby stuff, or (what I should be doing now) SLEEP. We took a nice long walk today - I had some errands to run, but instead of putting him in the hot car and driving, I put him in his stroller and walked to the shopping center and back, a round trip of about 2.5 miles. We window-shopped (I have got to stop shopping for baby stuff!!) and had a late lunch at Subway, and I finally got batteries for my little digital camera so that I could take some new pix of my beautiful babe!!! He is just Mr. Personality these days - I think he should get his own talk show. He loves to rest in mama's arms, and stare at ceiling fans, and lurch forward randomly (still aiming for those boobs, ever hopeful), and - knock, knock - c'mon, ma, put down the camera - this binky ain't gonna hold me much longer...

Lazarus the outdoorsman - ready for anything! He's such a good sport when I put him in the sling and take him out with me to water all my plants. Just gotta keep that sun outta his eyes, and remember not to bonk his head when I turn around in tight spaces...

Ever do a Web search to see if you show up? I have - and far more fascinating to me was finding other people with the same name and seeing what kind of lives my "namesakes" are living. Here are a few lives that "Anne Lear" is living:
-high-end interior designer in Los Altos, California
-writer, most notably of The Adventures of the Global Traveler, or: The Global Consequences of How the Reichenbach Falls into the Wells of Iniquitie, referenced in several international bibliographies and included in Isaac Asimov's Science Fiction Anthology 2 (1979)
-sub-dean of faculty of arts and professor of literature at the University of Wollongong, Australia; co-editor of special issue of Women's Writing on colonial and postcolonial identity and cultural difference (2001)
-Director of Govanhill Housing Association, recently elected to head the Scottish Federation of Housing Associations
...more later; Net connection is getting flaky...

We had a shower for Steve and Keri's baby yesterday - just two months to go! Keri looks radiant at 7+ months' pregnant (do you feel radiant, Keri?), and Steve does, too - they're gonna be awesome parents. Ian's a lucky guy...

Of course, Laz was his usual adorable self, giving smiles away freely and even posing contentedly with Kaysha for a few moments. He spent much of the day in Mama's arms, but also spent some quiet time with Pops later in the afternoon.

Laz is hanging out peacefully in the sling as I work today - this is a great arrangement. He's such a calm little guy... how did I get so lucky???

Congratulations to Allan and Zannie, who are the proud new parents of a baby boy! (-who the heck? Allan was one of 8wire's best and brightest freelance writers on all things networking, particularly server security.) Just wanted to shout that out from the rooftop... next up: the baby Woodsman, due in mid-September... Laz can't wait to meet his future buddy!

Had a strange dream last night - I don't remember much of it, but I do remember the ducks - five or six of them waddling around my yard, quacking up a storm. Since I believe that every element in a dream is some kind of symbol (yes, even ducks), I went to my favorite dream interpretation site, Dream Lover Inc., on the off chance that I'd be able to divine the deeper meaning of all that waddling and quacking and carrying on. Lo and behold:

Duck
A duck is a very interesting bird and the message it conveys is generally positive. Ducks are well adapted to navigate and survive on land and in the water. They can swim, walk, and fly. Ducks are flexible and multi-talented. Dreaming about this bird suggests that you, or someone else in your life, is very flexible and can competently deal with emotional issues. Superstition-based dream interpretations say that ducks are very good omens and that you will "float" away from your current difficulty. See also: Animals, Birds

So what were Huey, Louie, and Dewey trying to tell me? "Don't worry, be happy?" I'll find the job of my dreams, and it'll be right here at home? I think I've already adapted very well to motherhood - what's stressing me out is the prospect of having to go back out into the working world and leave my little guy with someone else. I love hanging out with Lazarus - why on earth would I want to pass him off to someone else??? (Aside from that earning-a-living stuff, that is... *sigh*)

Just found an online palmistry site - yet another wonderful Web diversion. It's kinda cool - here's what it says about me:

Your Life Line reveals that you like to travel, but will always return home. You need a lot of space which is why you prefer spending time outdoors. You tend to have strong romantic tendencies. [dead-on accurate, I'd say]

Your Head Line reveals that you lack confidence, but have a sense of grievance. You carry a chip on your shoulder, but will vent this emotion through participating in political activities. [me, vent????]

Your Heart Line reveals that you have a masculine nature and are easily aroused by your own desires. [huh?] You are able to maintain a good balance between the physical and emotional sides that accounts for your warm and generous disposition. [aw, shucks!]

Your Fate Line reveals that you will have an early and independent start to your career, and will be successful in your life's work. [uh... still working on what that "life's work" is...]

You have an Air hand. You are a person who is independent, intellectual, analytical and unpredictable. Your optimal career choices are to work as a writer, psychiatrist, scientist, detective and teacher. [sounds good to me... hmm... hadn't considered the detective option...]

News flash: For CEOs, It's a Lot Lonelier at the Top. Yeah, people are mad at CEOs these days - Wet Seal CEO Kathy Bronstein tells the LA Times that on a recent vacation in Hawaii, "'I was embarrassed to tell people I was a CEO,' she said. 'It's like being a big sinner.'"

Well, boo-frickin'- hoo. Guess what, people - it's lonely at the bottom, too. Who ya gonna call when you need help? George W. ain't returning your calls, and neither is your congressman because now you're in the "liabilities" column in his district and won't be ponying up any fat campaign contributions.

The story continues: "'Clearly it's open season on CEOs now,' said William Clay Ford Jr., chairman and chief executive of Ford Motor Co. 'But the broad brush with which everybody is tainted isn't really justified.'" Sounds like a plea for a "Be Kind to CEOs" campaign. Dude, if you'd restructure your compensation scale so that no one earned more than, say, seven times what the lowest-paid worker earns, then I'd feel bad if the public scorned you. Until then, you can bite my unemployed butt.

I'll work on the template later - it involves more html, and I keep screwing it up (got a "500 Internal Error" thingie a moment ago)... And it's lunchtime for mama and babe. Oh, and I should be working - did I mention that? Right after we eat, and I do some gardening, and then I finish a few other projects... sigh.

Well, I blew that one... can't even edit it! Okay, let's try again - I'll go back to using the link option (I was trying to do the "img src" tag, but that's way over my head, as you can see). So here's a picture of da baby in his basket: Good morning!

Okay, it finally works! Now I just have to figure out how to fill in the various template details. Of course, I should be working... eh. I've worked enough of my life to deserve a break (blah, blah, blah - justify away, Anna...). Anyway, Lazarus is half-dozing in his swing, chomping away on his pacifier and making his weird "hrrrmmm" noises - he'll be hungry soon, but for now he seems content. Hey, let's put up another picture: No comments:

Welcome to Anna's Blog! "Blog" stands for Web log, which is an easy way to "talk" on the Web, and have friends and family "talk back." Think of it as an online interactive journal. Now, normally, I might not have much to say, but having a baby two months ago certainly changed that! Lil' Lazarus James Sanchez is such a delight that I thought I'd share him with everyone...

I can't post pictures here yet, but here's a picture in an album I'm keeping at another favorite site, Shutterfly: Lazarus Laughing. Hope this works...