Cold

I glanced outside and the thermometer read 9 degrees. So I let the dogs in, and they must know it's a treat because they're behaving so very well. They seem to have had a tiff sometime this evening, though, because Chica was lying right by the front door but Lucy came from around back and they just growled at each other. What do dogs fight about? They're well fed and have plenty of room to roam, but sometimes they get snappish with each other, kind of how I used to fight with my friends when I was a kid -- I hate you forever for one day, sheepishly stroll by your house the next, and the day after that am thrilled when you come out on your bike to ride up to the playground with me. But tiff or not, on a cold night like this they should be cuddled up tight together. And dang it, I forgot to get hay for their doghouse, which probably explains why at least one of them wasn't in there lying on that cold hard floor.

Antonio seems to be doing okay in Denver. He's sad and misses life here, but he found a job right away and will probably find a second one early in the new year. I talk to Lazarus about "Papa" throughout the day, and tell him often that Papa loves him so much, and sometimes Lazarus tells me something he wants to tell Papa, like, "Tell Papa Lucy grumpy" or "Lil guy chase chickins Papa." But then a truck drives by and Lazarus calls out "Papa coming" and I hate having to tell him that, no, Papa's not coming, but Papa loves you.... Whatever else is going on here in grownup land, all Lazarus knows is that Papa isn't here and hasn't been coming home in the evenings anymore, and knowing he feels that loss just makes me sad.

And even though I was already doing 90% of the childcare and chores around the house (sorry, hon', but it's the truth), that last 10% is killin' me. Around 5 or 6 p.m. I just want to go hide -- late afternoon/early evening is always the witching hour, but in the summer I could let Laz roam around outdoors till dinner was ready. Being penned up in the house sucks, and I have to admit that we've been watching more movies, "The Tigger Movie" being his current favorite. No matter what, though, sometime after dinner Laz will go sit in his little reading chair and spend an hour or more looking at his books. We've read some of them so many times now that he can narrate the story as he goes -- tonight I knew he was looking at "The Very Hungry Caterpiller" because I could hear him saying "four strawberries... cupcake... watermelon... pickle!" and then "oh, pretty butterfly!"

I should be working, not writing, so off I go. Gotta stoke up the woodstove, too -- keep them dogs warm....