Anna's Soapbox

What a year it has been... I got laid off from a career-defining dream job (company went under), had a beautiful sweet baby, took care of said baby on my own for two of his first four months (and loved almost every minute of it, actually), and moved away to a cold, strange place I'd seen just once, passing through, five years ago. How appropriate that as this year closes, our California house is still in escrow -- I'm crossing my fingers that I won't have to make the January payment -- and most of our stuff is still in boxes, in my father-in-law's basement and garage, while we camp out in his house and try to figure out what the heck to do next.

I miss my house terribly. I miss sitting by our white stone fireplace, with the cat warming herself next to me, listening to the birds chatter outside and watching the sun slip across the oak parquet floor we restored. I miss the "secret garden" I created outside my office window, with all its ferns and jasmine and hummingbirds. I miss Lazarus' bright, happy nursery that we created, with my parents' help, from a dingy dark closet that had a boarded-up window. I miss my gardens -- more weeds than anything this past year, but still beckoning, full of promise for next season. And I miss having our friends over, hanging out in the living room or outside around the firepit where we'd talk story and bang on drums and sometimes sit silently for a moment, enjoying the fire and each other's presence.

I miss having a space that's mine and that I really care about.

I'll get to the bright side of things tomorrow...